What Do We Have?

Have you ever feel uncertain of yourself?
The times when we think that we don't have anything we are good at.
And future seems so vogue because we think that we don't have anything we could work on for our future.

The scripture says in Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will be at the top, never at the bottom"

That is the promise of God to us. That God will succeed us. but how can we be success when we think that we don't have anything we are good at?
The thing is "success in life is not as much about what you have as it is about God's anointing on what you have" Joel Osteen

We might think that what we have is nothing but ordinary. we can only do this or that a little.
Its not about what we have and how much we are good at it, God can turn ordinary into extraordinary.

"What you have may not look like much , but with God's anointing Is everything you need" Joel Osteen

Another thing we cant forget is the part "If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them" God want us to do it God's way .. not our way .. however, we cant put success as a reward after we do it God's way. because the truth is we already have it. it just that we need to look around, see what we have and then work for it God's way.

God is able to just simply give us success. But God love us too much to let us simply get it then we don't know how enjoy our success rightly.
God want us to be success with character which build upon trials after trials, difficulties after difficulties to achieve.
Character that build from our respond to everything that come to us before we achieve.
The question is are we going to respond it God's way?

"If we do it God's way, the result is God's result"

Boys are Stronger Than Girls? Please...

Can you bleed for a week and survive?
Can you squeeze a 14 inch baby from a 9 centimeter hole?
Can you carry a 7 pound baby in your stomach for 9 months?
Can you take care of a child, cook, clean and talk on the phone at once? Can you carry 108 pound shopping bags?
Can you go a week only eating salad?
Can you face a heartbreak?
Can you watch the love of your life be with someone else?
Can you burn your forehead with a straightener and not complain?
Can you wear a thing piece of string in your a** all day?
Can you walk all day on 6 inch stilettos?
Can you cry all night then wake up the next morning like everything's okay?
I don't think so!

a broadcast message I've receive from my friend ani.. =) nice joke in between assignment hehehe,, sorry boys..

to See Extraordinary behind Ordinary

On my previous post Ive been mentioning that during our weakest point of our life our level of sensitiveness towards God are high.
yes that God wants us to come to Him in our brokenness but it doesn't always mean He wants us to come only when we are brokenhearted.
some people come to God in their happiest moment to give thanks, yes that God want us to remember Him in good or bad and us being grateful will please God. but it doesn't always mean that He wants us to come only when we are happy or sad only.

in life there must be a time when we feel everything is normal and nothing much happen. when people ask "hi how was your weekend?" then we will answer with "well, nothing much happened just this and that" we feel like there is nothing special or important happened during that day. that we are looking for an extraordinary happiness or extraordinary sadness that worth to remember and worth to say.

in that situation we feel like we don't even have much things to say. there s nothing much to thanks for and there is nothing much to ask from because we think that we are good and everything went so smooth.

i just realize that this few days i missed my vertical communication. assignment and many things happening make me feel super tired in the end of the day. there is nothing much happening lately, Ive been actually avoid my self from extreme emotional thing to happen so then i can be more focus on things that i should focus on. been keeping my self busy until i am really busy and missed my pray. i thought it should be okay, because there is nothing too sad or nothing to happy happen.

In fact, its not only in our happiest or saddest moment in our life that we need to be worry to come to God to say gratitude or asking forgiveness or asking help or anything. In fact we suppose to be more worried when we feel that everything is normal and not much things happening in our life. we suppose to look better inside, on whether our heart still properly function (have the right sensitiveness level) towards God's work in our life?.

in our life there is nothing ordinary, everything that God has planned for us are extraordinary.
as what David said in Psalm 139:14 "I praise You because i am fearfully and wonderfully made"
in Thesaurus dictionary (which the only dictionary i have at home, lol) wonderful mean "magnificent, superb, glorious, sublime, lovely, delightful, super, great, fantastic, terrific, tremendous, sensational, fabulous, awesome"
because we are God's masterpiece, He wont let ordinary thing happen to our life. All are wonderful. but then again it come back to how we react to things that happened to us... most of us choose to see in our own perception rather than God's point of view.

but then, how in the earth we know God's point of view? we are human and not God.
that is why we need to constantly communicate with God.
it is by praying we are communicating with God.
some of us might think that praying is only about us talking with God. how is it make sense that God is talking back to us? its not that we will hear God talking with a physical voice in 2010 like how God talking with moses in old testament.

Actually praying is a two way communication between us and God. by conducting a constant praying we will have the sense of intimacy with God. God talk to us in many ways, through people, environment, problems, and many thing else, then God gives us bible as a guideline and direction to turn things that happen to us into the right interpretation of what God's message behind all things that happen to us thru people, problems or anything.

although what happen to us seems not important and small and mundane. its just how are we going to look at it is matter. can we see the interesting behind mundane? the extraordinary behind ordinary?
are we going to choose to still living the song of life that God has put in our life. In our happiness, our mundane, and our saddest stage in our life. and keep update Him with smallest to biggest thing happening because behind all that importance level of things happening in our life there is the same big portion that God has prepared for us.

some words are hard to say

Berpisah Feat Nita

Dygta

Kau menyentuh hatiku lagi
Ketika semua berakhir
Ku tak mengerti
Kau s’lalu tanyakan padaku
Tentang semua yg kurasa
Kau merindukanku
Aku pun memang merindukanmu

Semestinya kau tak peduli
Tentang perasaanku
Tentang cintaku
Dan harusnya kau mengerti
Semua tlah berlalu
Ku melepas cintamu
Kita memang harus berpisah

Tak mudah untuk (tak mudah untuk)
Menjalani semua (jalani semua)
Karna hatiku dan cintaku
Hanya untukmu

Namun jalanku tak searah denganmu
Sungguh ku pun terluka
Karna kita memang berbeda

Mengertilah semua yang kulakukan untukmu
Namun yang terbaik
S’lamanya kita berpisah

Semestinya kau tak peduli
Tentang perasaanku
Tentang cintaku
Dan harusnya kau mengerti
Semua tlah berlalu
Ku melepas cintamu
Kita memang harus berpisah

Hu.. Hu.. Berpisah..

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"

as much as i want to hear about you.. i better not to.. because once i did, i need to take sometime to balance my pace.. n tonight i need that sometime for assignment..

post-break up stage.
i would say not an easy thing for me. especially during assignment and fyp period like this.. ive quite distracted by it.

the situation is, me dealing with my weakness of not moving on and not letting go. its been like five different goodbyes which failed one by one. i know it is not good for me and him. found out that he already try to get to know someone else, made me decide in another step. on backing my self off of him, by might giving him space and time to move on.

it is very hard for me. not to contact him. asking how has he been doing. hows his day.
it is very hard for me not replying his msg and not picking up his phone call. took me thousands courage not to failed on this goodbye attempt.

facebook remind me of him a lot, ive decided to deactivated. apart from that deactivating facebook also help me to focus more on my assignment. but its not that easy, once my friends update me with anything that he is doing on facebook, making me rattled many times. took me sometime to balance up my pace.

well the point is, sometimes i dont understand why m i in this situation. why me? why now during assignment and fyp period? why should i totally ignore when its actually hurting me? it is hurting me and burdening me, the guilty feeling and the broken heart.

today i feel it so disturbing me.. i have submission tomorrow, but someone and something remind me of him until all the memories came and i cant concentrate.

i dnt think talking with anyone for right now is a good idea, its too "weepy" and "silly" and "weak" stories to tell. but VOILA.. m telling this to the whole world now..

i tell you what happened.. =)
i know one who wont think this is too not important to tell and one who understand me more than anyone near to me, is my creator Himself.
so then, i prayed. started with a song.. then amazed by the words in the songs

"God of my all i've surrendered, my heart find its rest in Your word
praises will not be enough to show how my love for you has grown
nothing matter when you are here with me
in the end just to hear you say well done. bowing before your throne" (God of my youth-chc)

"God of my all i've surrendered" .. when i feel powerless (d0nt know how to do), hopeless (dont know who to talk to) and i feel like i am nothing (not a good student, not even start my assignmemt due tomorrow).. God use this situation to talk to me, a situation when my level of sensitiveness towards God are high..

"my heart find its rest in Your word" .. ive suddenly remembered this verse "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Prov 3:5 sometimes i dont understand a lot of things happening to our life.. and yea what we should do is not lean to our own understanding, it will make us think that we are an ultimate victim. but we should trust in the Lord that He is doing something great for us and prepare us to be a victor and not a victim.
the verse linked me to another song

"Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen. show me how to love like You have loved me" (Hosanna-Hillsong)

i really love the bridge part of this song... really tells a lot.. =)
it says "heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen"
we might not see what God is doing for us, what kind of future awaits us ahead but this song tells me not to lean on my own eyes, but see the unseen one which is God's purpose on us which is "good purpose and never not a good purpose" thats what He is been doing all about.
we cant see our future but God does.
we are going from one point of our life to another point towards God.

us..........................................................................................................................God

if we walk towards God's calling, our future is God's history so then we just need to trust God.

healing process not easy. still feel like something plugged out from inside me and its an empty hole with painful fresh scars there. it is hard but what i should do now is trust God.. He is my healer. =)

Puiy Bday edition !! =)

My dear puiy... Happy 21th bday.. Yeay legal age huh? M excited for you cuhz I know greater things are happening and yet to happen to your life. Be prepare deary, be ready for it.. With God strength you will face the preparation process. Keep strong in Him, keep your song in Him.. For it is what keep your joy and fire stay on! keep being a blessing cuhz the world need more people like you to be a better place. A person who is sincere to love, a person who is caring a person who is strong in her stand, a person who loves her God with all her might, a person who is good friend to almost everyone, a person who always there for her besties, a person who will always remind me when m off tune and off track, a person who is natalia putri tampubolon will always be. I love you puiy, may God blessing and joy and peace are upon you. And let God set your beautiful future with His mighty name.. And you will progressing and not regressing. Be the head and not the tail.. Cuhz that's His promise to you.. Cast out all your worries by His mighty name.. It is not worth to hold too long..

This is the time for you to rise up.. Doing more for God...

Let your 21th age be more and more fruitful in many thing... Kudos! You've been through 20 years of your life. N you did great! I am proud of you my puiy.. Enjoy bday and enjoy 21th One thing from me.. Let me be part of your 21th age and your next next age. Cuhz m here for a long run to be your best friend. :) I love you my sobi in christ!! Kisses!! Hugs!!

WE NEED TO GET BACK TO THE FIRST TIME

Why relationship and friendship ended? Why people back slide faith? Why divorce happened?why family separated? Why a lot of student leave school?

Its just people forgot how to get back to the first time.. The first time when they experience their nervousness of their early stage romance relationship, when they realized that they have someone to talk to to share thought with and also to strengthen each other. the sensation of early marriage on how they been blessed havin a partner to draw the plan to build a happy family together, the excitement getting their own precious baby and the wonder on how will they grow and how they become in the future. the rush of entering the 1st day of school, college life, new jobs.
The first time they know God, founded & chosen to experience Indescribable feeling of love acceptance forgiveness that no human being could ever compare, not even by our lovely parents, ultimate friends, family or lover. We have Gifted by a package of life such as our whole physical form, soul, spirit, surroundings, future, problems as a life lesson together with the help and guide, and many more great things in our life including that every first time experiences happened in our life. We have given so much from God, blessed tremendously..

Maybe God made all the first time experience distinctive and memorable cuhz He want us to remember to be thankful all d time of the blessings.

Gratitude of blessing usually strengthen us.
But then why life still heavy and Miserable? Breach and failure still happen?

Maybe because we forgot how we have felt so blessed when the "first time" happened in our life.. How the sensation usually made us happy, jumping, motivated, strong, certain, loved, smart or anything...

=) why don't we appreciate the previous blessing given to us by recall it over and over to make the blessing continually tangible in our life.
Tho the journey we have faced not all the time pleasant.. But why don't we keep our focus to the good thing? Put aside bitterness for the sake of makin life better...

"To make a relationship work, focus on what you appreciate about the other person, and not your complaints. -Rhonda Byrne"

Getting back to the first time will not only letting us to show more gratitude to God for what He have given but it will actually fix a broken relationship.

Be blessed!!!!